Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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