i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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