We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
