I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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