Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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