Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
In America we eat man semen.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
