we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
