are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
