You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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