This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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