At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
