I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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