You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
