matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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