I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
