She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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