There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you inspire me to be a worse person
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
