You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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