Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
