bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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