Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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