I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
