dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
