Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How naked do you want me to be?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
