Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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