ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
