It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
