dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this just has baby written all over it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
