I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
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The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
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I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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