just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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