you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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