Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
