I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
