Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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