I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize
