Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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