the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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