Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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