Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
These tits shall not be calmed
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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