Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We don't watch enough power rangers
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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