im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
