at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
