I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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