Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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