I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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