Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
