How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We don't watch enough power rangers
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
