I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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