i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
