I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize