'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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