i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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