dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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