I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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