sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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