ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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