he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
try to milk me bitch
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