Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he shaved USA in his pubs
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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