a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
