i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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