Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
