someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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