I cut my penus on the lid.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I deserve this hangover.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
