How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize